Imposter syndrome
This past weekend, I won a prize at the wrap-up event for the annual fundraiser of Hope Centre Ministries. I helped raised funds through my campaign with Hearts for Hope. Hope Centre is a beautiful organization that provides spiritual care and belonging for people who live with disabilities.
But back to my prize. First, I won a draw!!! (My excitement reflects the rarity of such occurrences in my life.) The prize included a lot of chocolate (that I can’t eat but is being joyfully regifted), art gallery passes, passes to a game café (that Claire is excited about), a scented candle (that will be appreciated by someone else who doesn’t have my “scents-itivities”), and best of all, a signed copy of a powerful book, Dancing with Max written by Emily Colson, daughter of Chuck Colson. I could not put the book down! It’s the very definition of a page-turner. Emily tells her and her son Max’s story, which includes divorce, single-parenting, autism, insensitive and ignorant exclusion, refreshing inclusion, and the powerful way God has worked in their lives. I was so impacted that after finishing the book, I immediately went to Goodreads to leave this review. I also emailed the author directly.
Emily’s book is the first book I’ve read while in this stage of writing my own. I started to cave to the trap of comparisons (which is a topic I explore and discourage in Invisibly Ill and Living with Hope in Chapter Thirteen: Perspective). I thought to myself, Emily’s writing is so much more captivating. Her descriptions are more engaging. Her chapters are shorter and sweeter. With quality books like this out there, I have no business trying to add my feeble attempt at writing. And on and on I spiralled as I explored these unhealthy comparisons. Emily’s audience may be much larger than mine, but I need to remember that my little tome will still find an audience.
So I’m really hoping I’m not actually an imposter and that there is space on bookshelves for Invisibly Ill and Living with Hope. I’m too deep into this now to give up.